Subconscious Gifting

What is Subconscious Gifting? I think it can explain a good bit of why you are successful, why businesses are hard to hand off, and why we struggle with imposter syndrome. Its inverse can explain why we resist growth. Pulling together some prior thoughts, let's dive in:

Let's define Subconscious Gifting as skills, talents, abilities, insights, or wisdom that are such an inherent part of who you are that you're nearly (or completely) unaware they exist. They run through everything you do and think and every decision you make.

We tend to have some awareness about things we're good at. You're good at spreadsheets or tennis or painting. Subconscious Gifts, on the other hand, are taken for granted. Because they are ingrained in our identity, we tend to assume that everyone has them.

This leads to a couple of outcomes:

First, we don't do the work to convey our Gifts to other people in our place of business or other relationships because we assume everyone is wired the same way we are.

So in an odd twist, the thing that sets us apart is the thing we're least likely to teach others. Not because we're hoarding it, but because we don't know it needs to be taught. This is what can make business handoffs so fraught — the special sauce leaves with the founder.

So this is my plea to you: overcommunicate. Even the stuff that seems obvious. Because inside the stuff that's obvious to you are unique and valuable insights that will enlighten others and transfer your edge from being dependent on you to being the DNA of the organization.

Another outcome is that we can find ourselves frustrated when team members or those close to us don't reach the same conclusions we do as quickly as we do. Our Gift can create gaps in our relationships with others. We think everyone is operating with the same information.

Because they're a deep part of us, Subconscious Gifts are difficult to identify. We need the help of a friend, partner, mentor, or long-time coworker to point them out to us. This requires a relationship close enough that someone will say, "I am incapable of doing what you do."

Remember this scene in Good Will Hunting?

Will has just finished yelling at Prof Lambeau about how easy math is for him. Lambeau's response is what we need from friends in identifying our Subconscious Gifts. "This is unique to you" can help awaken and unleash people.

Subconscious Gifts can also help explain Imposter Syndrome. Defined as when "an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud." We've had success, but it feels undeserved.

Without understanding our Subconscious Gifts, Imposter Syndrome can creep in. If we don't grasp what led to our success, we attribute it to luck or fooling people, rather than to an innate gift that we can use productively (and probably have been, unwittingly).

Here's where we get to the inverse. What's the inverse of a Subconscious Gift? A Conscious Weakness. Many of us have weaknesses that we're all too aware of. And many of us are scared to reveal them, which is often the first step in working on them. Here's what we miss:

Subconscious Gifts are Gifts because they are rare. So the opposite of a Subconscious Gift is not just a Conscious Weakness, but a Conscious & Common Weakness. I believe that our weaknesses and struggles are far less rare than we make them out to be, so we hide them.

Pride? I struggle with that. Fear? Yep. Stubbornness? You bet. We try to keep our weaknesses hidden because we feel like we're the only ones, when weakness is actually quite common and we would all benefit from talking about it more and helping each other improve.

So what's your Subconscious Gift? What do you find effortless that causes others frustration and failure? How can you maximize it for progress?