Feedback: a collection of thoughts

A small collection of unrelated thoughts on the topic of giving and receiving feedback:

Thoughtful, personal, actionable feedback is like a shot. It hurts going in, but it can protect us from far greater pain in the future.

Our inclination is to settle into relationships before we give feedback for the first time. But often by the time we're settled, we've tolerated behavior for so long that bringing it up feels like we've been hiding our true feelings... because we have.

Be honest early.

“Praise is affirmation. Criticism is investment.” - @wguidara

When giving feedback, if at all possible, use yourself as an example.

“When I struggle with this…”
“I had a manager tell me…”
“Something I’ve found helpful…”

Next best is to use a hero type.

“One of the best I’ve ever worked with changed this…”

Your feedback for a team member is only as effective as their readiness to receive it.

You cultivate that readiness by caring for them as people, by demonstrating your commitment to their success through equipping and advocating, by celebrating and recognizing victories.

Don't give feedback based on outcomes, give feedback based on inputs:

1) Hypothesis - how they thought about the problem
2) Process - how they chose which steps to take
3) Execution - how each step was performed
4) Analysis - how they interpreted the result

You might disagree with feedback someone gives you. And their perspective may not reflect reality.

But here’s the thing: their perspective *is* their reality.

So instead of deciding “they’re wrong, there’s nothing I can do,” what can you do to change their perspective?

If you're delivering feedback from peers, consider mixed attribution. Leave names on positive feedback and leave it verbatim. Summarize and anonymize negative feedback. Message gets delivered clearly without personal hangups.

1) Make sure it’s done in private
2) Set expectations: “I’m going to give you some feedback, but I want you to know that I’m doing this because I care about you and your development.”
3) Don’t be mean, but don’t pull punches. Think about the pain of having this conversation again

Doing 360 feedback? Consider using stakeholder theory to choose the people you ask:

Customers: people who depend on me
Employees: people who report to me
Suppliers: people who help me do my job
Investors: my manager (and their manager)
Others: external partners